What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
10.06.2025 09:26
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
What happens to adults with Down syndrome when their parents can't look after them any more?
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
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Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
How did my ex move on very fast?
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Make Nazis afraid again!
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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
What thing happened to you as a child that you haven’t let go of to this day?
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
TEXT:
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Are rich people harder workers than poor people as a whole?
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”